Jeni's    RANTS:    The    Incoherent    Ranting    Corner

You know there's a lot of cr*p on the news these days. I mean litterally just cr*p so i like never watch it because it totally pisses me off. One of the things they feel the need to shove in there is so much coverage and sattire and the like of gay/lesbian ppl. Now that's a lotta bullsh*'s like the media wants ppl like that to vanish off the face of the planet. I mean people just like you and me have heart, souls, minds, feelings and all that to vanish or like not be happy. And you know that is kind of ironic comming from the people that manage the world and saying society should do whatever and be whatever they want to be happy and work for you you you you. Well that's what these people choose to do to be happy and everyone's like no no no no this is bad while other people are murdering people through abortion and euthansia and everyones like ohhh it's the womans body and all that sh*t. So ironic. Person is smart. People are stupid. People are Finiky. People are INCONSISTANT. If they're going to say all this sh*t aboud okay abortion and all that cr*p I think they need to be okay with Gay rights and stuff and not treat them like they've got a disease and all that. It's really stupid how they're restricted form living a normal life just cause they life different. Yet everyone's liek dare to be different and BE YOU. Well that is them and restricting them from being like that is just...STUPID. I mean it's beyond the epitmy of stupidity it's like Stupidity at it's highest form. People need to get a clue. A BIG CLUE. WAKE THE 'ELL UP. Live in a consistant society here people. If this is what you want let them live what the want as well. It's not fair to ban someone from living how they want. It's like caging an animal and they even have animal rights groups for that that get listened to prolly more then gay rights do. Good god. Govt. get a clue and Humanity get a clue. We now have freedoms and a semi-stable lets go for EQUAL RIGHTS. See ppl with a clue should run the world but unfortunatly to most people we're all kids...and no one listens to us...

Jennifer is a straight, opinionated teen with a lot of good stuff to say. She promises to be more concise next time. Increase her self-esteem and check out her web page. I met her in a chat room; thus the probably temporary name for her rants. Email me and I'll forward it to her.

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Why    Queers    Are    Smarter    Than    Straight    People

"Why Gay & Lesbian People Are Smarter Than Straight People, or, 'Star Wars is gay'"

My role model, Harlan Ellison, wrote once that mis-titling a piece of writing to catch the reader's eye is quite an effective trick, and I've had proof of that more than once myself. But the reason for this feature's name is pretty uncomplicated.

There's one simple criterion I'm using for this intelligence test. And on that basis, the gay IQ is zillions of times higher than that of the straight community.

How many times have you heard heterosexuals say offhandedly "oh, that's gay" or call each other faggots for reasons unrelated to love or sexuality? How many bad gay jokes have you heard? How many times have you seen or heard gays or lesbians stereotyped in a way having nothing to do with gender, love or sex? When you saw "Clueless", how many people laughed over the line about Christian's sexual orientation? Not like I'm going to dislike you if you were, but were you one of them?

Now compare that to the number of times you've heard queer people call something "straight" for no reason, or call each other heterosexual as a meaningless insult, or say something idiotic like "all straight people read Dean Koontz," or make stupid "heterosexual jokes". You'll find that it's no match.

The other day, I was at the bookstore, conversing with my friends who work there, telling them about my new website. Although they were very supportive of my idea, and told me they'd pay a visit, one of them said "Oh, he'll like this, he's gay" referring to the other; the other gestured at the one and said "Well, he should know."

I'm not angry at these people; they weren't thinking during this exchange, just repeating the things they always heard and never thought about, just as so many people don't think, they just parrot society. You know. You do it, whether you know it or not. Like the way I unthinkingly hate Barney. It's not really anything to be ashamed of, when it comes to the senseless trappings of pop-culture that aren't relevant to life.

But in some cases, I fight the sleepy, sheepy flow of the collective mentality -- I'm not a Borg. In the category of silly little inane things that don't really affect anyone, though, sometimes I make what is almost a conscious mistake; I hate something/one because others love it/them. Like Beanie Babies . . . annoying. Or Leonard DiCrappio, and Titanic in general . . . I didn't even see the movie, and I'm a Titanic-basher to the core.

Almost the core. The crowd mentality, I've found, never really reaches some inner part of you; 99% of those screaming preteens who think they're in love with LLLLEEEEOOOO!!!!! will be looking on this in disgust a year or two from now, wondering whatever they had seen in him besides the obvious looks and acting ability. If we actually fell in love with people based on physical desirability and acting skill, Patrick Stewart* would not only be mobbed and stalked by a few crazed straight women, but would have to go about in a heavily armored gorilla costume.

Back on topic: once, at school, I was fiddling with an R2-D2 action figure (I'm not embarrassed to say, I open mine) when a guy passed by and said offhandedly, "Aw, R2-D2 is gay. Star Wars is gay."

Do you know just how many faults I can find in his logic?

First off, R2-D2 is a f**ing robot. Actually, a non-f**ing robot, which is part of my point. Data, on the one hand, is "fully functional" (tee-hee.) R2-D2, no offense to the cutie, is a smart, walking, trash bin. I can't even tell you how imbecilic it is to speculate on the sexual orientation of a (literally) bleeping garbage can.

Secondly, Star Wars is lots of things -- a movie series, a franchise, a glorious space opera, a modernized myth . . . George Lucas's magnificent dream. But none of these are things that could possibly be homosexual or heterosexual.

Third, and most important . . . the comment was intended as an insult, and not even close to literally! For one thing, calling heterosexual people or asexual things gay is not an insult worth a half-ounce of bulschitte. It's simply an incorrect statement. Would you feel insulted if someone told you that you had blonde hair, assuming you're brunette, or vice versa? Would someone consider it derogatory to call green eyes brown? Similarly, I haven't ever heard things being called "heterosexual" to get someone mad. Only "gay" has this insulting status attached to it. Now what's up with that? It makes no sense. Thoughtless homophobic behavior. But do Nazis bait each other by calling each other "Jews"? Or do white racists say "Oh, that song is black" when they don't like the new hit, assuming it's by a white artist?

It's not just Star Wars . . . other comments, too, that I've overheard: the utter stupidity of the supposedly insulting comment "Spock is gay" directed one time at my ever-present Spock pin ties in to a possibly upcoming essay. And it enrages me to hear young children telling each other "so-and-so is gay, haw haw."

"Aw that's gay" seems to be the be-all and end-all of our culture's LIV (Lame Insult Vocabulary.) I mean, I could give you a bunch more to chew on, and maybe someday I'll get around to doing essays on a few of these, too: "retarded", "blind" (when referring to driving), "b*tch", "b*stard" (I'm not sure if Tripod will kill me for these, and I won't take chances; my message is too important), "f**cker (that fits almost everyone) "d*ckhead" (can you imagine what that would actually look like??!?) . . . I won't promise not to use most of them; there aren't that many other effective and non-ridiculous-sounding epithets out there. But I definitely won't use "retarded" other than literally. Not after my year as a student aide in Special Education.

Question reality? I suppose so. But undebatably, question stupidity.

*The Patrick Stewart link contains openly and extremely heterosexual sentiments.

Either people have read this minizine, or that's how many times I've checked on my edits.